Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Shut down...
I wrote a really long blog titled "Waiting". It was all about my mom and how strange it is waiting for her to die. I was almost done, one sentence to go and my computer just shut off. I was mad, then I thought "how funny the way God works". For some reason, God didn't want that blog to be posted. And so now it won't. And this is all your gonna get tonight. I'm sad, I'm stressed, I'm frusterated. But most of all I'm just trying to stay strong enough to get through each day with a smile.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Really, I mean...Really
I know that we all have crappy days. I know that I have had a ton of crappy days. Hell, I've had some crappy years. But why is it that we can't have a day where just one thing goes wrong? Why does it always have to be a multi-bad things happening day? Today was one of those days. I should have known it was going to be like that when my cat scratched my ankle when I was going up the stairs this morning. She always runs up the stairs with me, and down the stairs with me, and back up the stairs with me. And she has never actually scratched at my legs when she does this morning routine. But for some reason this morning, she must have been mad at me for something, because she got me good right at my ankle and it bled. Next up for the things that can go wrong...some guy cut me off while I was on my way to work, so of course I honked my horn because I almost rear ended him. And that jack-ass flipped me the bird. Really? You cut me off then give me the finger?
I thought the day was looking up when I had a great house call for design services. The client came into the showroom a couple hours after I left her house and spent $3300. Not to shabby. But wait....I then had a $1500 return. In commission sales, you have to take the returns off the sales. So, I lost the $1500 in sales for the day and month. But wait, that's not all. My grandma called me (because my mom couldn't) to tell me that my mom went to the doctor today and the doc said there isn't anything else they can do for her, she has 2 to 4 months. After some time passed, I called mom. She seemed alright for the most part, but she told me hospice is coming out on Tuesday. Really? Tuesday. Why are they coming out on Tuesday if the doctors are saying 2 to 4 months?
So, here I am at work trying to get a grasp on everything when I get a text from my husband that Dylan's football coach has moved him from running back to center. What the hell? How do you train a 10 year old in one position for 3 weeks then change such position 3 days before the first game? How do you move the fasted kid on your team who ran the most yards during the scrimmage game to a position that he's way to small for and has no idea how to play? I was not happy. Then I get a text from Eric saying that the coach moved him to a defense position. Great, he has no idea what to do on defense because he's only been playing the running back position. Now, I'm the type of person that can handle the really bad news that people give you. I stay strong in the tough situations. But while I'm being strong in the really bad stuff, the little things are what set me off. It's a damn good thing that I wasn't at that practice, because I would have been going off the coaches. The good news is that Eric did say something to the coaches after practice and they are going to play him as running back and as a defensive end. So, I guess we'll see on Saturday at the first game how well he does.
I'm not sure how the next few weeks are going to go. So excuse me if I am crabby, bitchy, winey or just plain out of it. There are a lot of details my sibblings and I have to deal with before my mom passes, plus I'm working 49 hours a week and have 2 classes that I must pass so I can graduate in December. If I snap at you, I'm sorry. I don't mean it at all. If I lose my poise, I'm sorry. And if you see me at the grocery store in pajama pants and flip flops, well, you'll never see me at the grocery store in pajama pants and flip flops. I don't even own a pair of flip flops. Anyway, just ignore me until...well...I don't have a time frame for when I might be back to myself. I just hope that my next bad day isn't one thing after another. And I hope that your next bad day isn't one thing after another. Sorry this one's not funny...maybe next time.
I thought the day was looking up when I had a great house call for design services. The client came into the showroom a couple hours after I left her house and spent $3300. Not to shabby. But wait....I then had a $1500 return. In commission sales, you have to take the returns off the sales. So, I lost the $1500 in sales for the day and month. But wait, that's not all. My grandma called me (because my mom couldn't) to tell me that my mom went to the doctor today and the doc said there isn't anything else they can do for her, she has 2 to 4 months. After some time passed, I called mom. She seemed alright for the most part, but she told me hospice is coming out on Tuesday. Really? Tuesday. Why are they coming out on Tuesday if the doctors are saying 2 to 4 months?
So, here I am at work trying to get a grasp on everything when I get a text from my husband that Dylan's football coach has moved him from running back to center. What the hell? How do you train a 10 year old in one position for 3 weeks then change such position 3 days before the first game? How do you move the fasted kid on your team who ran the most yards during the scrimmage game to a position that he's way to small for and has no idea how to play? I was not happy. Then I get a text from Eric saying that the coach moved him to a defense position. Great, he has no idea what to do on defense because he's only been playing the running back position. Now, I'm the type of person that can handle the really bad news that people give you. I stay strong in the tough situations. But while I'm being strong in the really bad stuff, the little things are what set me off. It's a damn good thing that I wasn't at that practice, because I would have been going off the coaches. The good news is that Eric did say something to the coaches after practice and they are going to play him as running back and as a defensive end. So, I guess we'll see on Saturday at the first game how well he does.
I'm not sure how the next few weeks are going to go. So excuse me if I am crabby, bitchy, winey or just plain out of it. There are a lot of details my sibblings and I have to deal with before my mom passes, plus I'm working 49 hours a week and have 2 classes that I must pass so I can graduate in December. If I snap at you, I'm sorry. I don't mean it at all. If I lose my poise, I'm sorry. And if you see me at the grocery store in pajama pants and flip flops, well, you'll never see me at the grocery store in pajama pants and flip flops. I don't even own a pair of flip flops. Anyway, just ignore me until...well...I don't have a time frame for when I might be back to myself. I just hope that my next bad day isn't one thing after another. And I hope that your next bad day isn't one thing after another. Sorry this one's not funny...maybe next time.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Worst feeling ever...
Today I had the worst feeling ever. How did this occur, you may ask. Well, I'll tell you. I woke up this morning thinking I would take the kids to the pool. Then I thought it might be nice to take them to the fair instead. So, after some discussion, we chose to go to the fair. Only, we didn't make it to the fair. Here's the story...
The plan for the day was to get Dylan's physical done, get the kids hair cut, then go to the fair for a few hours and end the day with Dylan's first scrimmage football game. It was suppose to be another great day after a great weekend. But when we went to the clinic to get Dylan's physical, the nurse practitioner said he had a heart murmur and she couldn't complete the physical. She said that we needed to make an appointment with his doctor. Now, this is not good news. It was even worse news because she said all of this in front of Dylan. So, as we are walking out of the place and I'm trying to grasp what I was just told...Dylan is crying thinking there is something really wrong with his heart. Of course we get in the car and I called the doctor's office and they said they couldn't get him in until next Tuesday. Now I don't know how you handle things, but my heart was still in my stomach from the initial news that there may be something wrong with my sweet son, so I was not so nice on the phone. I told the receptionist that I really needed to get him in sooner than that because there could be something wrong and I didn't want to wait a week to find out what we could do about it. She put me on hold and then came back only to say she couldn't get me in until next Tuesday. After calling Lisa and asking "what do I do?", she said to take him to St. Francis prompt med and get a second opinion. So I did. And what do you know, prompt med does full physicals for $40. The doctor did the physical and said Dylan is in perfect condition besides his eye sight, which we already knew about that issue since he's been in bi-focals since he was 5.
If you have children, and have ever gotten bad news about their health, then you know the feeling I had today. It drains you. And I was trying so hard not to cry or get upset in front of the kids, but all I wanted to do was hold Dylan and cry. Thank God that nurse was wrong. Who knows what condition I'd be in right now if the doctor said there was something wrong with his heart. I surly wouldn't be blogging.
Needless to say, we didn't make it to the fair. By the time we got done with all the doctor stuff, we only had a couple of hours before we had to be home to get ready for his game. So, we went to the mall and got slushies and shopped a little for school clothes. Dylan did well in his practice game. He got to carry the ball a lot and got the most yards of any player on the team. He's such a cute little running back.
The plan for the day was to get Dylan's physical done, get the kids hair cut, then go to the fair for a few hours and end the day with Dylan's first scrimmage football game. It was suppose to be another great day after a great weekend. But when we went to the clinic to get Dylan's physical, the nurse practitioner said he had a heart murmur and she couldn't complete the physical. She said that we needed to make an appointment with his doctor. Now, this is not good news. It was even worse news because she said all of this in front of Dylan. So, as we are walking out of the place and I'm trying to grasp what I was just told...Dylan is crying thinking there is something really wrong with his heart. Of course we get in the car and I called the doctor's office and they said they couldn't get him in until next Tuesday. Now I don't know how you handle things, but my heart was still in my stomach from the initial news that there may be something wrong with my sweet son, so I was not so nice on the phone. I told the receptionist that I really needed to get him in sooner than that because there could be something wrong and I didn't want to wait a week to find out what we could do about it. She put me on hold and then came back only to say she couldn't get me in until next Tuesday. After calling Lisa and asking "what do I do?", she said to take him to St. Francis prompt med and get a second opinion. So I did. And what do you know, prompt med does full physicals for $40. The doctor did the physical and said Dylan is in perfect condition besides his eye sight, which we already knew about that issue since he's been in bi-focals since he was 5.
If you have children, and have ever gotten bad news about their health, then you know the feeling I had today. It drains you. And I was trying so hard not to cry or get upset in front of the kids, but all I wanted to do was hold Dylan and cry. Thank God that nurse was wrong. Who knows what condition I'd be in right now if the doctor said there was something wrong with his heart. I surly wouldn't be blogging.
Needless to say, we didn't make it to the fair. By the time we got done with all the doctor stuff, we only had a couple of hours before we had to be home to get ready for his game. So, we went to the mall and got slushies and shopped a little for school clothes. Dylan did well in his practice game. He got to carry the ball a lot and got the most yards of any player on the team. He's such a cute little running back.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Party at the Track!
It was the best weekend at the track for the Brickyard 400. I showed up Thursday evening, after a very busy day of work, only to find my friends and husband had already been through 2 bottles of Jager. Now, some people would be upset that they were that far behind, or that so much alcohol had been drank already, leaving less for me. But not me, I was not worried because I knew there were still 4 bottles of Jager left, plus my bottle of Amaretto. Oh, and the Bacardi soaked fruit. Of course I had to drink rather quickly to get caught up. A couple of hours in and you never would have known that I had to catch up. Then, a few more friends showed up and a few friends passed out. The 4 of us that stayed awake were up until 6 or so in the morning. We just asked questions and answered them, and it was the most fun I've had in a while with my friends. I wish those who had passed out would have stayed awake. I'd really like to know what kind of Animal they think they'd be. I have to say I don't really remember Friday, I think I slept most of the day. But Friday night I played gin with the boys and it was a nice time.
Saturday we all wore the shirts we had made. They all look the same, big Hello name tags on the front and the back says "All Drinks, No Drama". Although the name tags are all the same, they all say something different. Mine says "Hello...I'm Awesome". They were a huge hit. Everyone at the track was saying how much they loved them and then they would come up with their own saying as if they were wearing a name tag. I must say it will be hard to come up with something better than this year's shirts. But I have a year to think of something fantastic, and I'm sure I will.
The race was great. I always get motion sickness watching those cars go around the track so fast. But I still have a great time. We take Dylan to the race with us and I get such a kick out of watching him and Eric watch the race. They both get so excited I forget which one is the kid (see picture above).
It was the best weekend with my friends, and a much needed one as well. I absolutely can't wait until next year!
Saturday we all wore the shirts we had made. They all look the same, big Hello name tags on the front and the back says "All Drinks, No Drama". Although the name tags are all the same, they all say something different. Mine says "Hello...I'm Awesome". They were a huge hit. Everyone at the track was saying how much they loved them and then they would come up with their own saying as if they were wearing a name tag. I must say it will be hard to come up with something better than this year's shirts. But I have a year to think of something fantastic, and I'm sure I will.
It was the best weekend with my friends, and a much needed one as well. I absolutely can't wait until next year!
What my sister thinks of me...
I got this text from my sister the other day "Read my blog, it's for you". So, of course I read it right away...or sometime within the next couple of days. Actually, I did read it as soon as I got home and on the computer. Here is what she had to say about me:
"Kellie is the most trustworthy person I know. I could trust her with the world! She knows what its like to be betrayed and have someone break trust so she knows not to do it, especially to her baby sister =). She may not know this yet but she will someday be my matron of honor. She may cry at the drop of a hat, literally, she might cry if she drops her hat, lol but that's only because she has such a big heart it makes her sensitive. She has a wonderful personality and knows how to take a joke. I'll never forget when I was kissing an old boyfriend one day, she screamed from about 20 ft away "GET OFF MY SISTER" haha she started to laugh at herself and I began to laugh, too! The guy was thrown off but we thought it was funny! She doesn't take people for granted, and when it comes to family, she knows how important people are. Her friends she treats as family and is always honest with them whether its saying "you need a new outfit" or "you are beautiful" or "you only go back to him bc you know he will leave so you already know the end result". And her laugh can brighten a room! She knows humor and loves more than hates. She is more than great! She is a down to earth, funny, beautiful, smart woman! And did i mention she has great style!!!! She struts as she walks like she is a movie star!! I'm lucky to have a sister as great as her!!! Love ya Kellie!!!"
Boy do I have her fooled. HAHAHAHA! Just kidding. Truth is, she knows me all to well. And I wish I could say I know her just as well, but I don't know her as well as I use too. I do know that she is the most beautiful person I know. She has this perfect body and she doesn't even have to work for it. She enjoys trying new things but also likes the comfort of home. She is still finding her way in life, who she wants to be with forever, what she wants to do when she grows up, and a little bit of figuring out who she really is. I've been so busy with work, kids, school and my husband that I haven't had much time for anything else. Otherwise, I'd be hanging with Katie often, now that she can drink and all. LOL. This summer, Katie has been a great help to me by becoming a good friend/aunt to my daughter. Hannah is having a tough time growing up and Katie has been giving her great advice. Mostly she says "you know Hannah, your mom really does know what she's talking about." And I didn't even ask her to say that to Hannah, she just knows what to say when Hannah ask questions. Katie and I will always be more than sisters, we will be great friends. Love you too, Kate!
"Kellie is the most trustworthy person I know. I could trust her with the world! She knows what its like to be betrayed and have someone break trust so she knows not to do it, especially to her baby sister =). She may not know this yet but she will someday be my matron of honor. She may cry at the drop of a hat, literally, she might cry if she drops her hat, lol but that's only because she has such a big heart it makes her sensitive. She has a wonderful personality and knows how to take a joke. I'll never forget when I was kissing an old boyfriend one day, she screamed from about 20 ft away "GET OFF MY SISTER" haha she started to laugh at herself and I began to laugh, too! The guy was thrown off but we thought it was funny! She doesn't take people for granted, and when it comes to family, she knows how important people are. Her friends she treats as family and is always honest with them whether its saying "you need a new outfit" or "you are beautiful" or "you only go back to him bc you know he will leave so you already know the end result". And her laugh can brighten a room! She knows humor and loves more than hates. She is more than great! She is a down to earth, funny, beautiful, smart woman! And did i mention she has great style!!!! She struts as she walks like she is a movie star!! I'm lucky to have a sister as great as her!!! Love ya Kellie!!!"
Boy do I have her fooled. HAHAHAHA! Just kidding. Truth is, she knows me all to well. And I wish I could say I know her just as well, but I don't know her as well as I use too. I do know that she is the most beautiful person I know. She has this perfect body and she doesn't even have to work for it. She enjoys trying new things but also likes the comfort of home. She is still finding her way in life, who she wants to be with forever, what she wants to do when she grows up, and a little bit of figuring out who she really is. I've been so busy with work, kids, school and my husband that I haven't had much time for anything else. Otherwise, I'd be hanging with Katie often, now that she can drink and all. LOL. This summer, Katie has been a great help to me by becoming a good friend/aunt to my daughter. Hannah is having a tough time growing up and Katie has been giving her great advice. Mostly she says "you know Hannah, your mom really does know what she's talking about." And I didn't even ask her to say that to Hannah, she just knows what to say when Hannah ask questions. Katie and I will always be more than sisters, we will be great friends. Love you too, Kate!
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